Culture Shock Part 3

Culture shock....I thought that after a year I would be more adapted to this culture.  God gives me grace everyday, but it is still hard to fit in.  I was talking with my daughter and asked her why I still stand out.  She said its the way I dress.  This is my style, but my style is American style not Euro style.  Where does American end and Ukrainian begin?  Am I supposed to be meshing more, standing out less, looking less like a foreigner and more like a Ukrainian.  My mindset and my own deep rooted American culture clashes with that of those that I am around everyday.  And it does make it difficult to functions sometimes.

Apartment Building not to far from our house.

This culture is against everything that I am, as a saved person, as an American person, as a moral person, and as my individual personality would allow.  Here, it is normal when people are late, no matter what the profession or position.  Everyone bribes everyone, from the top to the bottom.  I have seen more than my fair share of that.  NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE wants to follow traffic laws.  They go where they want to go when they want to go.  A red light means absolutely nothing.  And grown men going to the bathroom where ever they please....

My first wreck in Ukraine.  The tram run a red light and hit the light green car, then that car hit me.

But, in our little church, their are the most precious people.  Despite our cultural differences, they love my Saviour.  We share the same desires and have the same Holy Spirit living within.  Yes, they maybe late for church.  But they don't have the nice air conditioned/heated vehicle to take them where they need to go.  They have to walk, ride public transportation, and sometimes many different forms of transportation to get to church. There are seats on the buses, trams, and metros, but seats are not guaranteed.   Some of them are from the village, and takes them at least an hour and a half to get to church.  So it is love, a desire to fellowship with those (as the Apostle Peter put it) of like precious faith, and a longing to hear God's Word that brings them.  After such a long trip in the unbearably hot or cold weather, would you come to church with a huge smile on your face?  They do :)  They encourage me like not other could. 

So, though I still struggle, God is so good.  He encourages me through the people of God, and through my personal Bible study.  Though I really miss my family and church family, what grace God has given; for homesickness is not something I struggle with as much as I used to. 

This now means I have finally made it to the Adjustment phase: Again, after some time, (usually around 6-12 months) one becomes more familiar and comfortable with the culture, people, food, and language of the new country. One will likely feel less homesick and will have a better handle on the situations that they previously found frustrating. The culture begins to make sense, and negative reactions and responses to the culture are reduced.

Ukraine feels more and more like home.  I'm still learning the language, and can not communicate as much as I would like.  But how do you describe the grace of God in a situation like this.  It is so true what people say, that sometimes you have to experience something's in order to receive the most from that situation.  Sometimes, something's are just indescribable!

Culture Shock Part 1

 

Culture Shock....

In our April/May prayer letter, we included all the different stages of culture shock.  Phase 1 has already dissipated.... and phase 2 has appeared with a vengeance.... 

If you don't remember the stages of culture shock...Phase 1 is....

Honeymoon stage: This is usually during the first few weeks or months. People experience emotions like excitement, anticipation, and eagerness. Everything and everyone is new and exciting.

And how true that was.  I was ready to take Kharkov by storm.  Learned the public transportation routes pretty quickly.  I was learning everything I could learn and take in everything as fast as I could. God gave us a mission, and I was going to go full force with everything I had in me. 

But Phase 2 has slapped me in the face as hard as it could....

Negotiation Stage: After some time (usually around three months, depending on the individual), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. Excitement may eventually give way to unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as one continues to experience unfavorable events that may be perceived as strange and offensive to one's cultural attitude. Language barriers, stark differences in public hygiene, traffic safety, food accessibility and quality may heighten the sense of disconnection from the surroundings. This may lead to difficulty sleeping, sadness, homesickness, exhaustion, increased worry, a desire to withdraw, unexplained crying, or overeating.

We have been in Ukraine not quite 3 months, and I have experienced all of the above....it made me laugh for just one second, for I hadn't read this article on culture shock since we put it in our prayer letter many months ago, and to have experienced all this...who ever wrote this article sure knew what they were talking about. 

I haven't blogged for several weeks because of this very reason, I knew everything that come out would sound very negative or have a negative twist to it.  I try really hard not to give in to these feelings of frustration when everyone and everything seems to defy the very basic code of morality and basic common decency we expect.  Just the very mind set of the people we interact with on a daily basic troubles me exceedingly.  I know that this is how they have been taught their whole lives, but for me to have to turn my world upside-down so I can intergrade into their society is so very difficult! 

It's not just the frailty of our mortal flesh that has a hard time dealing with the cultural differences, but it's also the spiritual battles we face on a daily basis!  Spiritual warfare!  A very wise women counseled me this.... Eph. 6:10-12 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.  I feel so weak, but the scripture says, be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might by putting on the whole armour of God.  This is my goal, to daily put on the armour of God, for without it, I will not make it!

God has been so good to me, His kindness, grace, and mercy has exceeded my expectations!  Which He always does!!!  It truly humbles me, and helps me on this journey, and on this path He has placed me on. 

 

Continue reading...

 

Culture Shock - Part 2

 

Culture Shock - Part 3

Ordination Day

Today was my husbands ordination.  I was not sure what to expect...but I can tell you it was nothing like what I thought it was going to be.  There were 7 great men of God my on husband council, and we were so honored they could all be there!!! 

 

Our pastor's wife sang "Across the Miles", and I was OK until then....then the waterfall started...

 

Our pastor preached an AWESOME message....of course....

 

Pastor had each man on Brian's ordination to give us words of

encouragement and then they prayed over us.

 

Starting with Bro. Whitmore from Anchor Baptist Church in Pisgah Forest, NC

 

Then a close pastor friend, Bro. Keith Troyer from Grace Baptist Church in Greenville, NC

 

Our family, from L to R, my mom, my mother-in-law, Brian's grandparents

 

They Bro. Mike Qualls out of Morning Star Baptist Church in Cleveland, NC

 

Next was Bro. Robert Taylor, Pastor of Grace Baptist Church in Chucky, TN

 

Now, it was Bro. Phillip Willis turn out of Life Baptist Church in St. Stephens, SC

 

They kids listening intently

 

Finally, it was Bro. David Trivette, a preacher out of our home church

 

After all the preacher's prayed over us, our pastor and the deacons of our church prayed...

 

Precious memories :)

 

Pastor giving Brian his signed Certificate of Ordination!

 

Our family :)

 

Some of my friends which I will miss dearly...

 

What a mighty God we serve!

The last couple of weeks have been filled with ups and downs like you wouldn't believe.  Other than stressing about packing and shipping our stuff and what's going on in Ukraine, I recently found out that I would have to have a hysterectomy.  Big news, especially since we are leaving so soon, and you need at least 6 weeks to completely heal (according to the doctor).  But PTL, let me tell you what happened!!!

Several weeks ago while at one of my doctor appointments, my doctor suggested that I have a biopsy on my uterus.  So I did (an it did not feel good :( ).  Several days later, my doctor called me with the results.  She said that they found that I have hypoplasia and they found A typical cells also.  She told me that I would need a hysterectomy and possibly a full hysterectomy (ovaries and uterus).  But we scheduled a time for the next week to review and talk about what we need to do. So at this point I was really stressing.  Brian and I trying to figure out when we could possibly do this so I wouldn't miss any meetings and still have enough time to heal before we fly out.  But here comes the amazing part....drum roll please.... after my phone call with the doctor, I called some people to ask them to pray.  At the doctors appointment on Monday, my doctor told me, the previous week after we had talked, she run into a doctor friend of hers who was a gynecological cancer specialist.  She told him about me and he suggested doing a D&C first.  This way all the trouble I was having and verifying whether there is cancer could be done at the same time.  And if there is no cancer found from this procedure, I would not have to worry about having a hysterectomy at all.  PTL, right?!  On top of that, she will be able to place in my uterus a device that will slowly give me the hormones I need to regulate me and to thin my uterine wall (take care of the hypoplasia).  God so intervened and answered our prayers, not in the way we thought, but just much better.  He took several difficulties and took care of all of them at the same time!!  What a mighty God we serve!!!!!

Crossroads

 

I do not even know how to start.  My heart is so overwhelmed, every time I think about our current situation, I break out in tears.  Sometimes I wonder, why is everything so hard for us.  It seems like our deputation was harder for us than for others.  Situations always seem more dramatic and harder than it is for others.  I know the Lord has a plan, but it seems like he is taking us the long way around to get to our destination.  There are so many things we need to pray for.  The most important is direction from the Lord, so we know which way to go.  Right now, we are at a crossroad, and have no idea which road to take.  So many things have changed over the last couple of weeks, and I personally do not know how to react to it all.  All I know to do is to walk by faith!  Wait on the Lord. Psalm 37:7a Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him:

♪♫ Stand still and let God move,

Standing still is hard to do

When you f eel you have reached the end,

He'll make a way for you

Stand still and let God move ♪♫

A look back.....

My oh my...it has been a very long time since the last time I posted anything.... I guess it's just the business of deputation.  We have been all over the US...and are currently at 81% support.  Getting anxious and excited!  I have been mentally preparing all the things that need to be done in preparation to move.  Passports, visas, and packing....

I have been thinking a lot about when we first started deputation and how heart breaking it was for us to experience life as a missionary.  When we first started deputation, we thought that everyone would be so excited for us and for the call God had placed on our life's.  We had a specific work to do for him in a specific place!  Just like when God calls men of God to the pastorate. But we were so wrong.  People and Pastors that we knew seemed to not want to have to much to do with us after we submitted to go to the mission field.  We saw pastors that we knew at meetings, and they would see us and turn around and walk the other way.  How that made my heart break.  Here we are, willing to leave our home, our families and friends to go to Ukraine, and we are treated like we have the plague.  But after 2 1/2 years on deputation, I have come to realize that there are churches and people out there that love missionaires and do what they can to be an encouragement because they know that we will need the memories of all the good times and times of being edified to make it through the tough times on the foreign field.  Those times when we desperately miss our moms and dads, our family, our church family, or even our favorite comfort food (mine being salt and vinegar potato chips) :)  But despite all this, I am ready to go. 

I get knots in my stomach thinking about my mom, and how she will be here alone, with no family to help her.  She is almost in her 70's, but very independent and in good health.  My brother lives in Korea, so both of her children will be overseas.  What if something happens to her while I'm gone, what if I can't come back when she needs me most?  But in all this, I just need to trust the Lord. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:  Isaiah 26:4

 

4 year Anniversary

November 21 was my 4th year being a preachers wife.  It sure doesn't seem like it has been that long.  The longer I'm a preacher's wife, the more I wonder what God is going to do with us, how is He going to use my husband and I.  Will He call him to be a Pastor, or maybe a missionary on the foriegn field?  Could you imagine all that traveling to collect support, and with 3 kids to boot.  I don't feel worthy to be a preachers wife, and not spiritual enough.  I don't feel adequate to fill this kind of roll.  But the longer I'm saved, the more I realize that God only saved my soul, not my spirit or my flesh, or my personality.  I want to live each day as me, living my life as a servant of the Lord God Almighty.  When I was lost, I was always trying to be something or someone I wasn't.  Always scared of being rejected for being me.  And sometimes I still try to be something that's not me, then I have to remind myself that I don't need to impress anyone except God and my husband.  For when it is all over, God is the one I will be giving an account of my life too, so nothing else matters :)

Faith....

I am extremely frustrated at myself this morning. Why? We'll.....I have been prepping for a yard sale for a couple of week now. Today was going to be the day we had the yard sale. We had a prime location! For the elementary school down the road from the home where we were going to have it at, was having a huge indoor yard sale in there gym. So I wanted to take advantage of the MAJOR advertising they were doing! For the local "yard salers" would be driving right by this location to get to the school. Last night, my husband and I took some tables to this location, and stayed a bit, and played some cards (nerts and golf). Our friends that lived in this home told us that there was going to be a 90% chance of rain, and it looked as if we would be rained out. I told them that I had been praying, and had the kids praying too that it would not rain so we could have the yard sale. I had faith the Lord would come through in this minor matter for me. But as we chatted and played cards, the subject would keep coming up about the rain not stopping, and how we would get rained out...but I just kept believing God was going to answer my simple request. It was late when we left their home.....and it was still pouring down the rain. We got home and when to bed, expecting to get up in a couple of hours so we could load everything in the Montero and in the truck and head over to the ys location. But my husband woke me up at 4:15 and said, it's still raining and went back to sleep. I felt defeated, had the Lord not answered my pray, and before I knew it, I had fell back asleep.....now it was 8:00 and it has cleared up and it is not raining. I just knew the Lord would come through for me, but now it is to late to go, by the time I got the kids up ready, and everything packed, etc... we would be there very long. Was God testing my faith this morning? And there was another test I failed. The greatest sin in the bible is unbelief. For the sinner, unbelief will send them to hell, for the saint, it will stunt there spiritual growth. Why is it so hard sometimes to just believe the Lord loves us and wants our best? In the book of Hebrews it says....Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God. God calls unbelief EVIL. The children of Israel had to wander in the desert for 40 years all because of unbelief. They didn't believe what God promised He would do, even with all the obstacles before them. For salvation, Jesus said to "REPENT and believe" Repentance coming first and belief coming after. After I turned (repented unto) to God on May 4, 2003, God gave me the faith to believe. I turned to God after having turned away from everything else in my life. And simple child like trust in my Saviour, to save me from a miserable existence. But now, my husband and I are still kicking ourselves for letting others effect our faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen Hebrews 11:1. My faith was wavered by another, but that is no excuse for me. But my Lord was so gracious as to show me that He does love me and did answer my prayer. He shows me so much kindness each and everyday that I live. I am so unworthy of His grace and mercy, that He would love an old sinner like me. A sinner saved by His marvelous grace!!! God is so GOOD!!!!