Monday, November 24, 2014

Culture Shock Part 2

Where do I start???  I believe I will start right here.... хорошо? Below is a description of 2 stages of culture shock...I am still in the negotiation stage....

Negotiation Stage: After some time (usually around three months, depending on the individual), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. Excitement may eventually give way to unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as one continues to experience unfavorable events that may be perceived as strange and offensive to one's cultural attitude. Language barriers, stark differences in public hygiene, traffic safety, food accessibility and quality may heighten the sense of disconnection from the surroundings. This may lead to difficulty sleeping, sadness, homesickness, exhaustion, increased worry, a desire to withdraw, unexplained crying, or overeating.

Adjustment phase: Again, after some time, (usually around 6-12 months) one becomes more familiar and comfortable with the culture, people, food, and language of the new country. One will likely feel less homesick and will have a better handle on the situations that they previously found frustrating. The culture begins to make sense, and negative reactions and responses to the culture are reduced.

As of right now, we have been in Ukraine a little over 6 months.  I have been dealing with minor culture shock for several months now, and finally thought I was over the worst of it.  But I was wrong!!!  I honestly did not see this coming and I didn't think it would come at me like it did.  It has effected every part of me: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I would like to just curl up into a ball in the corner of my bedroom and cover up with a blanket and ask the world to leave me alone and let me be.  Can't the world keep going without me?  Can't I just disappear until all this "culture shock" stuff goes away? You know, that's my nature, my make up.  I want to hide, be invisible, be alone when I am facing a battle I feel I can't handle, and this is a battle I was not prepared for.  Not that I didn't know that I would go through what people called "culture shock", but I didn't expect it like this.  I have literally been physically sick, and have such a hard time keeping my mind and heart on track.  It is very hard to explain.  Some of it comes from the frustrations of having to deal with a foreign culture.  What's normal for them is completely ridiculous to us.  I don't know how many times I have asked, "Why do they have to do everything the hard way here?".  "Why does it take me all day to get one things done, even with a car?" 

I have been told that no one but other foreign missionaries will even know what I am talking about or going through, because they have been through it themselves.  And God gave them grace just when they needed it the most!  And most people in the states have no idea what  a struggle and battle it is.  And in most cases could care less, and those who do care do not know how to comfort you because they do not know the struggles you are facing.  But слава Богу (PTL), Бог знаем (God knows).

Have you ever been in a place where it is so hard just to keep your thoughts, words, and actions positive.   Why does everything come out so negative?  Imagine living like this.  Imagine having the hardest time praying. Imagine hating the person who you currently are....  this is culture shock. 

Have you ever been in a place where everything is backwards and upside down?  Imagine that everything you do and have always done is considered wrong or weird.  Imagine walking down the road, or walking in the store like you always do and getting strange looks or even rude comments.  Imagine always being taken advantage of just because of where you come from.  Imagine living in a country that has such a preconceived idea of what an "American" is, they think you are what you are not, then have to overcoming them seeing you as such.  This is culture shock.

Have you ever been in church have no idea what is going on?  Imagine sitting in service and not understanding the songs, or anything that is being said.  Imagine not being able to fellowship with other believes because you have no way to communicate with them.  Imagine that the church services are so different than what you have been accustom to since you've been saved.  Imagine after 6 months, still not being able to just sit down and talk with another sister, not because theirs nothing to talk about, but its because of the huge language barrier.  Vocal language and sign language.  This is culture shock.

This doesn't cover everything I'm sure, but this is what was on my heart :)

 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Living in Ukraine

Tuesday will make our 5 month anniversary here in Kharkov.  Wow, I can't believe we have been here 5 months.  I'm not as advanced in the language as I would have liked to been by now.  But we are working on it.  Brian and Briana are way ahead of the boys and I.  Briana read 2 long paragraphs to my mother-in-law the other day on Skype.  I have been praying that God would make it very easy for them to learn the language and that He would open their minds and understanding to Russian.  I have learned enough to speak very simple sentences, but nothing more than that.  When someone talks to me I break out in a nervous sweat.  Does that happen to anyone but me.  I also break out in a nervous sweat when I go to the store, especially in the check out line.  I get nervous riding public transportation also....some people are very nice when they realize you do not speak Russian and help you, but some are very rude and hateful.  But since I have no idea what they are saying....I just smile....

We had some excitement the other week....our first hospital visit here....Orion come in the house and said, "Mom, Zach's OK, I just wanted to tell you that.  But he hurt himself playing football (soccer)."  Ok, it is never good when he says that!  Zach come in the house and said it hurt alittle, but hurt more when he moved it.  It was only alittle swollen, and I couldn't really tell what was wrong with it.  Ms. Cathy O'Brien is a nurse, so I called her about this.  She said we needed to get x-rays to make sure it is not broken and go from there.  So we took a Taxi to Hospital #7 near the church.  After Zach got his x-rays, lo and behold, it is broken.  It broke where the 2 bones meet right at your wrist.  So they had to set the bone because it was not a clean break.  But praise God, the doctor was a good doctor and it did not take that long!  This past Friday we went back for more x-rays, and praise God, the doctor said it is healing very well, and he only has to wear the cast one more week.  Wow, I was shocked, I thought he would have to wear it much longer, but praise God, he doesn't.  He does have to wear a metal, removable brace for several weeks though.  But at least it's not a cast!

 
As for general life in Ukraine, it still takes a lot to get used to.  We're not used to having close neighbors.  We live in a kind of duplex.  We enter in through the front, they enter in through the back but we do enter in through the same front gate. Several of the rooms in our houses are connected.  So we are able to hear what is going on in there home, and I'm sure they can hear us too.  Sometimes, we really don't want to hear what is going on in the other house.  Currently there are about 3 or 4 young college students from Africa.  But their lease is up and I believe they will soon be moving.  My prayer is to have a family move in behind us.  There is also another small apartment (detached) behind us with other couple of African college students.  Praying about maybe trying to find a home with a yard all to ourselves.  We are hoping the Lord will provide just what we need.


PTL!!! God has answered our prayers for a vehicle.  I was hoping for a mini van, but this is better than nothing.  It is a 2007 Russian Lada Seyorka.  The body style of this car has not changed in 20 years!  It's about as basic as basic gets.  We are praying about getting power steering.  It is very hard to drive.  Trying to change gears and turn the steering wheel is very hard!  It has been such a blessing to not have to take a Taxi to church!!!  I had a scary taxi experience last week coming back from the hospital after Zach got his xrays.  The taxi driver decided to stop at an apartment on a dark road at 11:30pm...and left us in the Taxi for 10 minutes.  I called my husband and talked to him the whole time to make sure nothing would happen.  And that is not the first time that has happened!  So praise the Lord for the car!  Still praying that the Lord would provide us a mini-van.  It will be more roomy for our family, plus we would have room for other's too. 


Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Krakow Poland, Part 2

Bro. Glass took us to the old airstrip...this was remnants of what was there.
 
Our second week in Poland was more laid back and relaxing.  We had already seen everything we wanted, except for the Schindler's museum.  This was a great time for us to spend much more time in our Bible's and in prayer.  We knew when we got back to Ukraine, we will be facing much spiritual opposition.  The oppression in Kharkov is like nothing I have ever experienced.  In Poland, it was like to were released from prison, and we felt almost,...relieved to be there.  Even many of my physical ailments I was dealing with went away, not swollen ankles, no pain.

Briana and Orion enjoying their favorite pastime.

I believe God allowed this down time for us, for it may be the last on we get for a long time! 

We did have to switch apartments mid-stay.  The apartments we were in were reserved for other people, but the apartment manager was awesome and helped us as much as she could.  She even gave us a huge is discount on the 2 times we had to extend our stay there.  Praise God!! The second apartment we got was a 2 bedroom apartment, so we were all able to fit in one.  It also had 1 1/2 bath, which is great with 4 kids!!!!

We very much enjoyed our time with the Glass family and their church there in Poland.  Sweet people, many of them knew english, so we were able to fellowship!

 
Here is Briana and their youngest daughter :) She is the same age as Corey.

 
We were invited twice to their BBQ Bible Study. Great Kielbasa and fellowship!
 
 
Briana was able to spend some time with the Glasses teenage daughter.  Briana really needed this time to fellowship with someone of like faith her same age!

The Schindler factory steps made famous by the movie "Schindler's List"

During that last week, we went to the Schindler museum.  It was one of the nicest museums I have seen in a long time.  It takes you on a journey of German occupation during WWII in Krakow.  Many of you may have seen the Schindler list (I have not) but we seen the list on his office wall.  What scary time's that was.  I know God blessed that man for helping the Jews like he did! 


Finally, on Sept. 3, we received the paperwork we needed to get our Visa's.  Bro. Glass drove us to the embassy and took us wherever we needed to go, what a blessing.  We went to the embassy on Wednesday afternoon to see if they could start our paperwork, they said they did not take paperwork for visas but in the morning, but they did allow us to go ahead and pay for our insurance.  So we walked to the bank, paid for the insurance, and walked back to the embassy with our receipts.  The next morning, we went to the embassy again with all our paperwork...they said they could process it in one hour.  Praise God.  Normally it take the whole day, but God allowed us to find favor, and they processed it very quickly!  Bro. Glass helps many missionaries from Ukraine that come to renew their visa's, and he said he has never seen them process visas so fast before.  Praise God!!!  Now we have our Visas, the next step is to get our residency.  The University will take care of most of that for us!!!  Now with Visa's in hand, it was time to get back to Kharkov....

Bro. Peterson took us to McDonalds for supper!  This had to have been the fanciest McDonalds I have ever been in.  The boys really like the tablets they had set up for the kids :)
Trip to Warsaw from Krakow by train....Bro. Peterson, a missionary there in Warsaw, let us stay the night with him since our train got in late!  What a blessing, he also took us to the airport the next morning so we could fly to Kiev!  The only thing I was dreading was that 8 hour bus ride to Kharkov....but....at 1am....we were finally home after 2 1/2 weeks!!! 


Only 234 Kilometers left till we get to Kharkov....

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Krakow Poland Part 1

Today I am coming to you LIVE from Krakow, Poland.  This city is over 1000 years old and has a ton of history.  But tourism is not the reason we are here.  In order to get our Visas, we had to leave Ukraine and come to Poland.  Since Brian and Briana are going to the University we are getting student Visas.  They will be studying Russian.  

 
We are having to stay here a little longer than we intended to stay.  We had to leave Ukraine on August 21 because our 90 days to stay in the country without a Visa where expired.  But because of circumstances beyond our control, the paperwork that we needed from the University are a little late getting to us.  So now we are waiting for that paperwork to turn in with all of our Visa paperwork.  As soon as we get our Visa stamp, we will have 72 hours to get back to Ukraine to start our Residency paperwork.  (Lots of paperwork :))
 
 
 
We started our trip on a bus from Kharkov to Kiev Boryspil Airport.  It takes about 8 hours to get there.  We took the overnight bus, so it didn't seem quite so long.  Afterwards, we flew to Warsaw then on to Krakow by train.  It was a new experience taking the train.  I've rode on a train before (we took an Amtrak train from NC to PA and Brian I & took an overnight train from Kharkov to Kiev), but it was nice having our own personal cabin to ride in.  It make the 3 1/2 hours trip more bearable! :)
 
 
 
 My favorite things was getting a taste of home.  Some of the restaurants that they had in Poland, we do not have in Ukraine, such as....Subway, Pizza Hut, and KFC.  We didn't realize how much we missed these little things from the states so much!
 
Pizza Hut :)
We were able to get an apartment near the Old Town, which was a huge blessing.  We had to walk most everywhere we went, so being close to the embassy and town was a must.  We originally reserved a 2 bedroom apartment that all of us could stay in, but when we got here, we found out there was a glitch in the website in which we reserved our room, and that room was not available for several more days.  But PTL!  They offered us 2 apartments for the price of one!  So Brian and I stayed in the 2 person apartment while Briana and the boys stayed in the 4 person apartment one floor up.  It has been soooo nice, it's almost like a mini honeymoon for Brian and I :)  The picture below is the view from one of our windows :)

 
The day after we arrived, we just started exploring the Old Town.  In the picture below is a Catholic building.  The story behind the two towers is very interesting.  The legend tells of 2 brothers who were assigned to build the tower for the building.  The older brother finished first and was praised to the heavens for the great job he had done.  But soon after, they noticed that the younger brother had exceeded his brothers work in making his tower taller and more elaborate.  The younger brother was praised and honored even more that the older brother.  The story goes on to tell of the envy of the older brother, and how envy turned to anger, and that anger led the older brother to kill his younger brother in one of the towers, then went to the other tower and killed himself.  They say that the murder weapon still hangs in the tower as a reminder of what happened.
 

 
 
Here we are at the Wawel Castle.  Beautiful place to see.  We were not able to go inside, for the all the indoor exhibits you had to pay for.  And we are trying to site see as cheap as we can. :)

 
 
We also went and explored the Jewish Quarter in Krakow.  It made me think of what happened during WWII, and all the Jewish families that were taken and separated from each other on those very streets. Below is a picture of an old Jewish Temple/Synagogue.  It was used for this purpose prior to the war, but during the war, the Germans used it as a horse stable.  Now it is just a museum with pictures and quotes from Jews during the war.  There are not many Jews living in Krakow anymore.  Most of the ones who survived, left after the war.

 
 
 
 
 

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Culture Shock Part 1

 
Culture Shock....

In our April/May prayer letter, we included all the different stages of culture shock.  Phase 1 has already dissipated.... and phase 2 has appeared with a vengeance.... 

If you don't remember the stages of culture shock...Phase 1 is....

Honeymoon stage: This is usually during the first few weeks or months. People experience emotions like excitement, anticipation, and eagerness. Everything and everyone is new and exciting.

And how true that was.  I was ready to take Kharkov by storm.  Learned the public transportation routes pretty quickly.  I was learning everything I could learn and take in everything as fast as I could. God gave us a mission, and I was going to go full force with everything I had in me. 

But Phase 2 has slapped me in the face as hard as it could....

Negotiation Stage: After some time (usually around three months, depending on the individual), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. Excitement may eventually give way to unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as one continues to experience unfavorable events that may be perceived as strange and offensive to one's cultural attitude. Language barriers, stark differences in public hygiene, traffic safety, food accessibility and quality may heighten the sense of disconnection from the surroundings. This may lead to difficulty sleeping, sadness, homesickness, exhaustion, increased worry, a desire to withdraw, unexplained crying, or overeating.

We have been in Ukraine not quite 3 months, and I have experienced all of the above....it made me laugh for just one second, for I hadn't read this article on culture shock since we put it in our prayer letter many months ago, and to have experienced all this...who ever wrote this article sure knew what they were talking about. 

I haven't blogged for several weeks because of this very reason, I knew everything that come out would sound very negative or have a negative twist to it.  I try really hard not to give in to these feelings of frustration when everyone and everything seems to defy the very basic code of morality and basic common decency we expect.  Just the very mind set of the people we interact with on a daily basic troubles me exceedingly.  I know that this is how they have been taught their whole lives, but for me to have to turn my world upside-down so I can intergrade into their society is so very difficult! 

It's not just the frailty of our mortal flesh that has a hard time dealing with the cultural differences, but it's also the spiritual battles we face on a daily basis!  Spiritual warfare!  A very wise women counseled me this.... Eph. 6:10-12 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.  I feel so weak, but the scripture says, be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might by putting on the whole armour of God.  This is my goal, to daily put on the armour of God, for without it, I will not make it!

God has been so good to me, His kindness, grace, and mercy has exceeded my expectations!  Which He always does!!!  It truly humbles me, and helps me on this journey, and on this path He has placed me on. 
 
Continue reading...
 
 

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

May - June Prayer Letter

 
Our most recent prayer letter is currently ready and available to be read!
 
 
 

Sunday, June 22, 2014

From Heart to Heart

We have been in Ukraine for a whole month today.  I have such mixed emotions, I'm not sure what to think.  There is such a passion inside me, every person I see reminds me why I am here!  But... (yes there is a BUT) there are other things in which I am having such a hard time with. 

PTL!  The Lord provided us a great home in a great location, but our neighbors like to play there music loud and it is the boom, boom kind of music if you know what I mean.  There really nice, but it's hard to focus on any one thing with the neighbors music vibrating through our house.  One night, it went on like that till 4am. 

I still have not been able to cook a real meal since we've been here.  I can't read any of the labels, so I only buy by the pictures, or use my translator on my phone to try and figure out what everything is.  It took me 3 weeks to figure out how to order pre-made food in the store so we can eat something other than Salome and cheese sandwiches :)  So now it's chicken plove and young capushta salad every night.  We do now have a translator that has been helping me at the grocery store, so I have been able to buy a little more than I had been.  Right now, we only have a stove top.  Here in Ukraine, they do not use ovens much, so there is not much of a need to have one.  We have a oven ordered, hope it will be here soon.  I guess as a mom and wife, I want to be able to provide for my family, but I can even fulfill my position by getting what I need.  It's very frustrating. 

Public transportation....I have already dedicated a post to it...but it does deserve an honorable mention here.... I do not like public transportation... I do not like it Sam-I-Am.... for them it's a part of life... for me it's a extreme frustration.  I try so hard to be content... but when you have old grandmother yelling a your children and you have no idea what there saying... it can be quite upsetting.

Church is a lot different too.... in church last week... I had to walk out in the middle of the service and go to the bathroom and cry.  I don't know exactly what it was.  It may have been I couldn't understand the songs, or that when I was listening to my translator it made me feel a little disattached from the service...not sure exactly....

...it was nice to finally get our boxes yesterday.  We have peanut butter :)  Yeah!!!  It was like Christmas opening all those boxes and seeing things that were familiar to me.  :)  Big smiles :)

I am so sorry, I know this post is a little on the negative side and very scattered... but I miss home something awful and my mind is going in 1000 different directions!!!  Sometimes I lay in bed thinking of my mom and dad, and family we left in the states and all my friends and church family....  sometimes I really just want to go home... Go back to the states where everyone is familiar and I don't need a translator to get things done.  Where I don't have to pay $100 for an clothes iron.... I know this is a part of my adjustment, but I don't like myself like I have been...

God has been sooooo kind and gracious to me....He knows what an adjustment this has been.  My kids and my husband are doing so great :) I am so happy they are.  But I know there is going to be a time in which they will go through the same thing I'm going through, and I hope by then I will be a little more stable and be able to help them adjust better!!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Public transportation in Ukraine

 
We have been in Ukraine for several weeks.... and I do believe I have mastered the public transportation system....we'll....almost :/  Above is a picture of a very empty Marshuka (bus).  Most of the time, they are so packed, it makes you feel like one of those chickens in the crates that they stuff full to transport on the back of 18 wheelers....


Here we are riding a empty Metro (it's very hard to take pictures when they are packed...you can't move your arms to get to your camera (OK, so maybe not quite that packed, but sometimes you can't hardly move around because you are so squished in)
 
Below, Brian is buying the tickets we need to get on the Metro...
 
But now we can bypass these machines because we got Metro cards that we use...we just scan in our cards to go through the turn stalls (electronic ones).
 

 
Everyone trying to get to their destination....just another reminder of why we are here.  To help them see God's way to Heaven so THAT will be their final destination.
 
 
Marshuka and Trolley Bus stops....each sign telling you what bus numbers stop there...
 

 
Our family riding on the Tramvi.  This tram rides on rails...these are also very empty compared to what they usually are...

 
A Day on Public Transport Video...
 
 
I have realized that I took for granted the fact that I had a van...and could go anywhere I wanted in that van.  Didn't have to depend on anyone else to get where I needed to go.  It does get frustrating sometimes, having to wait on the Marshuka or Tram to get there.  Often times, the trams break down and one doesn't come for 45 minutes.   Or if it breaks down while your on it, you have to find another way to your destination.  I don't know how many times I have been late to somewhere because of the public transport.  I leave way early just incase and still end up being late.  This has been great culture study for us.  We can be more understanding when someone is late for church, because the majority of people here depend on the public transportation to get them where they need to go...never again will I take a car for granted... :)

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Finally in Ukraine

 
The first couple of days in Ukraine, we spent with the O'Briens at there home until our new dwelling was available.  In Ukraine, you have to peel your hotdogs, so that is what the boys are doing here :)


Not only do you peel your hotdogs, but you make your own hotdog buns, and the one's Ms. Cathy O'Brien made were very good!!! 
 

 
I am, slow but surely adapting to cooking without an oven.  Our new home only has a stovetop and no oven.  That did make things a little harder.  The language barrier is also a huge obstacle.  I go to the grocery store and have to shop by picture, or use my Google translator to try and figure out what things are.  Above is young capushta salad, Korean carrots, and boiled potato's.  The only thing I cooked was the potato's, the salads I bought pre-made.  I can't wait to get an oven and all my cookware from the states so I can cook a real meal!

 
They love their hot tea here.  I think Zach is a true Ukrainian at heart...he loves having his morning, afternoon, and evening tea :)  I'm not that crazy about it.  Many people here believe that you will get sick from drinking cold drinks....

 
This is our semi-private courtyard.  The front gate is also an entrance for two other dwellings behind us.  But everything to the right of the gate is just for us :)

 
We do take a lot of public transportation, but we can also walk to where we need to go.  We have a grocery store about 1/3 mile from our home, which is a huge blessing.  We just can not buy more than we can carry.  Here we are walking home from Caravan which is about 1.5 miles from our home.

 
Some of the Ukrainians are real patriots and have painted the trees the colors of the Ukrainian flag.

 
Some Ukrainians do not like the US.  Spray painted here says... USA = Terrorists
I wish they could understand we are not terrorists...

 
Overall, we are trying our best to get acclimated to this culture, the language barrier, and all the other things that make us a little less than comfortable.   There have been some hard times, times I want to go home as fast as I can get there.  But many times, the Lord reminds me why we are here, it's not to change them to Americans, but to teach them the truths of the bible so they can know true salvation!  I am learning the language and culture to be effective and used by God to reach that goal!  But as a person that thrives off of stability and structure and one that does not like or adjust to a lot of changes well....this has been one the hardest things I have ever done!!!